Home Forums Main Forum Introductions Does SM have effects even after “treatment”?

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  • #1172
    Profile photo of kmw1994
    kmw1994
    Member

    When I was really young, I didn’t talk to people. At home, I was able to talk normally with my immediate family, but if I didn’t see someone for a long time, couldn’t talk to them. My older brother is a prime example. He moved to Texas for a few years, and when he came home, I just couldn’t talk to him. I felt kind of bad, but no one could seem to understand that I couldn’t help it. I remember one time in preschool, a word accidently slipped out and I was so concerned as to if someone had heard me. Mortified is a better word. I didn’t talk to anyone I didn’t know from preschool to 6th grade. Through out that time period, my mom had taken me to I don’t know how many counselors and doctors. Some would threaten to not let me leave unless I talked. Others would just play checkers with me. That obviously went no where. My mom and 6th grade teacher were determined to get me to talk before I went to middle school. That summer, my mom took me to a new doctor for a check up. She suggested that I start taking Zoloft. After a couple of weeks, I was comfortable taking pictures. I didn’t smile, necessarily, but I wasn’t nervous in front of the camera like I had been before. Then slowly, but surely, I talked to more and more people. I still only talked when I had to at school. I made a couple of friends though. Then comes high school. In the first couple weeks of school, I noticed that a girl in my gym class and I had a similar intrest. The Jonas Brothers. I somehow conjured up the nerve to go up to her and start talking about them. That turned out pretty well because she is now my best friend. High school has been pretty normal for the most part. I got a job at my grandma’s store. I dreaded talking to people, but I eventually got used to it because I had to. This year is my senior year, and I am taking a psychology class. We all had to do a project on a mental disorder and SM was one of them. I didn’t realize that it was even a mental disorder until a couple weeks ago. Then I got thinking… Is SM like anorexia or bulimia? Like, even after treatment, is it still in your brain? That is why I’m here. Because my friends get upset because I don’t smile in pictures and I don’t like hugging my family or telling them I love them. By the way, I am no longer on anay medication for this, and I haven’t been since 2010 🙂

    #1460
    Profile photo of admin
    Seth
    Keymaster

    Wow, congratulations on getting off the medicine! =]

    I am glad high school is pretty normal for you. I had a tough time with not being able to talk and even just normal things like college and questions about life – that was all happening in my senior year. I think yes SM does stay with you. I would say for 95% of the people I have met or heard about that have gotten over SM still struggle with something or another. Whether they’ve moved on to just general anxiety disorders, agorophobia, depression, or any mix of those, it all stems from their history with SM. And why not? It is a huge part of their lives, of OUR lives. Pretty much every person on earth can say that their childhood, good or bad, has affected the person that they are now.

    So to answer your question. Is SM like anorexia or bulimia? Somewhat. Is it still in your brain after treatment? Until someone proves me otherwise, yes. Like if you met certain people at the store who you haven’t seen in a long time, maybe your SM will trigger depending on your relationship with that person. I have been in situations when I am very tired at night, I will become a lot quieter like if I am out with friends.

    Hope that helps with your project.

    =]

    -Seth

    #1461
    Profile photo of kmw1994
    kmw1994
    Member

    It’s really nice knowing that there are other people out there that went through, and are going through, what I went through. It makes me feel not so alone. The reason I asked this, “If it stays in your brain question” is I was doing a little research on SM. I read that one of the symptoms is reluctant to smile, and another was the person doesn’t like to show emotion, especially to family members. And that, right there, is me. My friends get upset because I don’t smile in pictures. I think I smile in pictures, but appearantly I’m not. Also, I just can’t bring myself to hug my family or friends, or even tell them I love them. I can hug people I just meet if my family isn’t around, but if they’re around, I can’t. I don’t know what it is. I just can’t do it. That’s the reason I asked. I thought I was over SM, but I guess I’m not? I don’t really know.

    #1462
    Profile photo of jenny
    jenny
    Member

    Short answer: Yes! It never completely goes away.
    I’m 53 now and have become fairly good at talking with people I know, but if there are others present I don’t know or feel safe with, I revert back and sit silently, just listening, very anxious. And, to this day, you won’t find a photo of me anywhere on earth with my teeth showing – neither as a child or adult. A grin maybe, but no teeth.

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