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August 10, 2012 at 7:05 am #1164
I am so glad I found this forum/website!! My daughter, Crystal is 10 years old and was diagnosed with SM officially last year. To be honest we always assumed that she was extremely shy. What confused us was the fact that she would talk to me, her mom, but would almost be forced to talk to her father (who does live in our house). She did great in school when it came to grades, but she would struggle speaking out loud. Then came the stomach aches, then when those stopped working (getting her out of school), came the migraines. I took her to the neurologist and she had tests done and they showed nothing wrong. Which is good, but when you don’t know why your child is hurting you really just want them to find something so you can “fix” it. First they told us it was probably her eyes, she has enlarged pupils, so the lights affect her. She started wearing sunglasses everywhere! Migraines were still there. After having a bad experience at school, I took her out and home schooled her for a few months until she could get into the virtual school. That worked perfectly, but we also knew that this was not going to help with talking. So we took her to the psychiatrist and now she is in therapy, which she loves and I love!! The therapist was a teacher and now knows she is needed more with helping children, then teaching children.
My problem now is the school system. Her therapist said we want to try to start getting her back into the school environment. We want to start with pe/music and then hopefully work on other classes. School system is giving me such a run around. I think they just don’t understand how terrible this condition really is. We are working towards getting her in what is called “home bound” school. It’s basically for students that can’t go to school because of hospitalization or recovering from something extreme at home. They have a teacher come in and give them lessons and they do virtual school. This was the only way to get her into a pe/music class. The problem we are running into is I don’t think anyone really believes in SM!! They are still looking at it as she is shy. I wish I could record her at home talking to me and the intense and adult conversations she has with me. It’s totally different from what anyone else sees.
Today I take the final paperwork to the school and if I hit another wall I just don’t know what I am going to do. Guess it will be time to give up and just do what we did last year, virtual school with homeschool outings so she can have some socialization.
Thank you for listening to me.
LeighSeptember 1, 2012 at 2:35 pm #1279
Hi, I can understand what you and your daughter are going through. I myself have selective mutism. I didn’t have the migraines but I did get a stomach ach a lot when I was litte. I really hope the best for your daughter with the therapist and everything. I actually tried to go to a therapist when I was little but I wouldn’t talk to them so that wasn’t any help. Does your daughter talk to the therapist she is seeing? Oh,you also said something about how she doesn’t talk to her dad,is she as close to her dad as she is to you? I only talk to about 5 people in my family but I do talk to both of my parents. I don’t think a lot of people out there know about selective mutism but the one thing I will say is basically to not put pressure on someone that has it because when someone does that to me it just makes my anxiety go way up and it makes me not want to talk even more. It might be different for other people that have selective mutism but that is how it has always been for me. I hope the best for you and your daughter and hopefully one day she can overcome it with the help of her therapist!November 18, 2012 at 12:14 am #1450
This documentary video about SM will really help you a lot. 🙂
Part 4November 20, 2012 at 7:06 am #1454
Lauren, I am sorry I haven’t written back. When she first started going to the therapist she really didn’t talk, then the therapist started playing UNO with her and it is a slow process, but she is talking a little more to her. She is not as close to her father as she is to me. It has been that way since she was born. She used to use her sister to talk to most of us, but now it’s basically me and a few others. She will talk to family, but in short sentences. She just gets to the point and then is quiet.
When she was in public school the counselor said for us to encourage her to talk, make her order her own foods at McDonalds and things like that. That actually made it worse. She would just not eat if we did that. She is like you, when she is asked to speak she gets more nervous and the anxiety sky rockets.
Marc, Thank you for the links, I will definitely check them out~November 22, 2012 at 9:40 pm #1455
Never force your child to speak . It will only aggravate her anxiety. The key is to be as natural as possible when it comes to encouraging your children. Try not to give her too much attention. 😉
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