Home Forums Parents Jonathan Berent website for social anxiety

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  • #1156
    Profile photo of concernedmom
    concernedmom
    Member

    Hi,

    I’m the mother a 18 yr old boy with SM and social anxiety/phobia and possibly avoidant personality. Has anyone had any experience with Jonathan Berent’s website? I’ve read his book and it seems like it would be very helpful it the patient is willing to try (my son isn’t). It has a section for parents and says I have to stop enabling my son and gradually stop speaking for him and doing things for him. It says he may rebel and get very angry but I have to do it. He also does telephone therapy and has a CD program with workbooks for $300. I haven’t bought this yet. Just wondering if anyone has had any sucess with this. Here is the website link:

    http://www.social-anxiety.com/

    Thanks!

    #1257
    Profile photo of admin
    Seth
    Keymaster

    Hi, I’ve come across his website before, and it seems interesting. I don’t know of anyone who has worked with him so I can’t say if it will work or not. You are right that your son has to have the desire to change before anything will be effective.

    If you do try it, let us know how it goes. I am curious as well!

    -Seth

    #1262
    Profile photo of mommytaco
    mommytaco
    Member

    We used Jonathan Berent’s resources and a child psycologist to help our daughter overcome her SM. We bought a CD set on SM for about $40 and it was very helpful. We worked with her therapist using Berent’s suggestions. The non-enabling was key in her therapy. We also caught it early – she is 7 years old now. Berent’s book (I borrowed from the library) & CD really helped us to understand how she thinks and why. It’s like blushing (which he also treats) – a physical thing that happens and can’t be stopped when you are anxious/embarassed. It took 3 years of therapy, but she is speaking at school now and has friends. She even looks forward to standing in front of the class for show & tell. There are still certain places where she won’t speak, but in general she is doing great.

    #1263
    Profile photo of concernedmom
    concernedmom
    Member

    I wish we had caught this early. But in elementary school he did speak to both kids and adults and even gave presentations. There was always one quirky thing going on each year, like 1st grade he only played with one child, but by 2nd grade he had a group of friends but couldn’t concentrate in class. Third grade, no problems what so ever, but fourth grade he didn’t want to do his school work at school. Fifth grade we moved to another state and he had a very mean teacher and he wouldn’t talk to her, but he talked to the other kids. Middle school he refused to take gym and his shyness was becoming more prevelent, but he had friends and still spoke to the teachers. High School hit him hard. He hardly spoke. We thought he would outgrow it (big mistake). So here we are now, a 19 yr old who doesn’t want to go out into the world. Only now can we put all the pieces together. I had taken him to a pychiatrist in 5th grade, but we and they misdiagnosed him with ADD. I went to a counselor when he was in HS and begged her to tell me what to do but she wouldn’t. Then I took him to a pychologist last year but he wouldn’t talk to her. We’re tying the suggestions in Berent’s book. Some things have helped and he is trying to talk more. But the steps are so small and far between. He is interested in going to college now which is wonderful!! But he refuses to get his dr’s license, so how will he get there? We’re working on it…

    #1264
    Profile photo of mommytaco
    mommytaco
    Member

    I’m so sorry for your struggles. Thank you for sharing your son’s journey. I often wonder if my daughter will go through some relapses when big life changes happen. I suppose at your son’s age he has to have the will to change. My husband’s brother is 20 years old and similar to your son. He has never been diagnosed or treated for anxiety, but we can all tell he struggles with it (it runs in the family). He finally got tired of feeling isolated and is making life changes, one at a time. He still has trouble ordering food for himself at a restaurant, but at least he has taken the leap to move out and be in the world as an adult. Living on his own is motivating him to work out many things. My heart goes out to you and your son. You are in my prayers.

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