Home Forums Main Forum General Not a peep!

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  • #1149
    Profile photo of jenny
    jenny
    Member

    What would you do in this situation?
    I got so mad at work yesterday morning.
    Rusty was standing in the walkway by my cubicle talking to someone and I was trying to get by him without disturbing them, but just as I tried to squeeze by he backed up. Of course I’m very nimble on my feet and advoided a collison, but my co-worker scolded him.
    “Rusty! Don’t run Jenny over.”
    “Well, I didn’t know she was there,” he defended himself. “She’s so quiet!
    You never hear a peep out of her.”
    I didn’t say anything, just went on to my desk. But it was very upsetting.
    I thought about sending an email to him asking him not to ever use the ” quiet” word on me again, but I didn’t. My husband said he would probably just laugh.
    When people refer to me as quiet, it just brings up a lot of bad memories and feelings. I thought I was doing pretty good. I do “peep” to my people. I can talk to my work group real good (there are only seven of us) and a few others in other areas of the office, but not everyone.
    What would you do if it happened to you? Would you say something, or just smile and go on?

    #1223
    Profile photo of windflower
    windflower
    Member

    I definitely wouldn’t say anything. From Rusty’s standpoint, I imagine it to be a harmless statement, he may have even said it in a lighthearted manner.

    Unfortunately it’s your issue, not his. And even though it brings up hurt feelings for you (which I COMPLETELY understand) it doesn’t mean Rusty did anything wrong. If it was a close friend of yours, then you might choose to say something, but not a casual business relationship, imo, not regarding this topic.

    I know what you mean, when you say “I thought I was doing pretty good”. How many times have many of us been in that situation where we DO talk and we’re feeling like “hey I’m doing a good job here!”, and somebody has to open their mouths and only see the quiet in us. And then all the insecurity comes rushing back and the mutism takes over…..

    I SO understand. I understand the hurt. When people say that to me, my throat closes up and I can’t say anything!!!

    Anyway, I empathize with you so much! You ARE doing an awesome job – don’t let this comment get you – you have a ton of successes with your social skills, and this person’s one comment doesn’t take that away from you. Keep on rockin!

    #1225
    Profile photo of admin
    Seth
    Keymaster

    That sort of thing happened to me a lot. For the first 3-5 minutes of a chat with a group of people I would try very hard and talk a bit, and then a few minutes later someone would say something like, “you don’t say much, do you?”

    ‘I am doing the best I can!’ is what I’d be thinking.

    Your situation calls for something tactful. The email idea is good, but it might come across as a bit weird, and I’d be scared of ever running into Rusty again after that, i.e. awkward eye contact, silence, etc.

    So what to do.. hmmm… aha! I think you should do this: first get a bucket of glue and a bucket of feathers. Then when he is sitting in his cubicle, sneak up behind him and pour the bucket of glue all over him. Right after that, before the glue has a chance to dry, throw the bucket of feathers on him so that he now looks like a chicken. And then stick a sign on him that says “Peep” in big bold letters, and go “hah, this peep’s from me, ya big brute!”

    I think windflower is right, you have come very far and his comment was only a shallow statement said off the cuff by some guy. The perfect revenge would be to be friendly towards him and show him the real you — a charming, well-spoken lady who peeps whenever she wants. That way he will see that his comment isn’t true at all, and you will also have a new friend!

    Anyway, grown adult men should never be called Rusty.

    -Seth

    #1238
    Profile photo of marcjohng
    marcjohng
    Member

    Oh my God i definitely can relate to you guys!!! I love you now! wohoho! 😀

    That scenario has always been happening to me almost everytime!

    For me, when encountered a situation like that, the best thing to do is to ignore whatever things that person said that seemed negative to you. Just IGNORE and MOVE ON to the next thing you need to do in your work. Just feel sorry to them if they can’t appreciate what you were doing! Let them suffer if they were expecting more from you!

    #1274
    Profile photo of jenny
    jenny
    Member

    Positive update: Rusty was by by cube again when someone noticed some cardinals on the bird feeder out our back door. As he struggled to see them across the parking lot, I asked him, “Would you like to use my binoculars?”
    “Thanks!” he said as he took them.
    NO ONE thought it odd I spoke. The more I talk, the easier it gets. I even have friends now — the first time in my life : )
    I really feel like this web site helped me achieve that. Thanks!!!

    #1275
    Profile photo of admin
    Seth
    Keymaster

    Congrats, Jenny! =] I’m so glad that your life is getting better. You are doing a fantastic job and it shows how much strength you have inside you already.

    -Seth

    #1445
    Profile photo of marcjohng
    marcjohng
    Member

    Well I already managed to have a better life even before i discovered this website hehe. 😀 But somehow it still helped me gain more infos about SM that surely will be a great help in the future. 🙂

    #1475
    Profile photo of mostafa25
    mostafa25
    Member

    i’ve seen situations like this for so many times. unfortunately i would go back feeling angry and when i go home i would think over and over about it

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